Breaking the Silence: Understanding the Barriers to End-of-Life Planning

Talking about end-of-life planning isn’t always easy. For many, it’s an uncomfortable topic that brings up personal fears, sadness, or uncertainty. Yet, avoiding these conversations can leave individuals feeling out of control, loved ones unprepared and important decisions unresolved.  Having these conversations whilst we are fit and well enables us to not only be active participants in our final chapters, but also reduces the stresses placed upon loved ones if we are unable to verbally communicate our wishes.

So why do we find it so hard to talk about?

1. Emotional Discomfort

Death is a deeply personal and emotive subject. Many people do not wish to confront their own mortality out of fear of acknowledging that our time on this Earth is finite and of which we have no control.  Others avoid the conversations out of not knowing how to approach the topic of conversation with a fear of upsetting those close to them. 

2. Cultural and Social Taboos

Talking about the transition from this life to the next life is the basis of most faith-based teachings.  However, in many cultures discussing death at a personal level is seen as a forbidden or unlucky topic. Even in more open societies, there’s often a sense that talking about dying is pessimistic or morbid.

3. Lack of Knowledge

Because we don’t openly talk about death as a society, many people may not know what end-of-life planning involves—from wills and healthcare directives, to funeral wishes and digital legacies. As the saying goes, “You don’t know what you don’t know”.  This lack of knowledge and uncertainty can make the process seem too overwhelming to address, or simply missed.

4. Fear of Conflict

Families don’t always agree on what should happen in the final stages of life. Some people avoid the topic to prevent potential disagreements or emotional strain.  However, we have  sadly often witnessed conflict when people do not have these open conversations whilst they are fit and well.  Without the guidance about one’s personal end of life wishes, families are left to make decisions about delivery of care and funerals wishes, at a time when they are most vulnerable and navigating the journey of grief.

5. Belief There’s Still Time

“I’m too young” or “I’ll get to it later” are common thoughts. Unfortunately, life is unpredictable.  We do not know when our time on this Earth will end.  Putting off end of life planning conversations can leave families in crisis when decisions are urgently needed.

Opening the Conversation

Breaking these barriers starts with simple, honest conversations. It’s about creating space for people to express their wishes and values with clarity and compassion. By normalising the discussion, we empower ourselves and our loved ones to face the future with confidence and peace of mind.

Using narrative from TV dramas to open discussions, talking about the deaths and funerals of celebrities to compare your preferred choices of funeral wishes, openly asking the question “Have any of you thought about how you’d like to remembered?”.  All of these create opportunities to start a conversation in a non-threatening way.

At Evolve & Flourish we create opportunities for communities to learn about the importance of end of life planning. Using a combination of creative activities, discussion groups and workshops, we help people to think about and start to explore what living well and dying well

looks like for them. 

Get in touch if you’d like us to deliver an end of life planning session within your community.

Let’s change the narrative—from fear to preparedness, from silence to support.